the home edit: elegant and lived-in

While on a walk with a friend a few weeks ago, we were discussing how much we want our homes to always be picked up in case a neighbor unexpectedly stops by…even though that actually never happens. If a neighbor stops by, they text first, which would give you a little time to pick up if needed, or they just leave whatever on your porch and text you the proverbial “porch drop” after the fact. So having the house “neighbor ready” really isn’t necessary these days.

However, having a picked up home makes my creative brain feel calmer, makes me feel like I’m being a good steward of our blessing, and also provides my children and husband with a calming place to come home to after long days. So even if neighbors don’t stop by unannounced, I still want my home to feel good to those of us who live here, and for my family, that means picked up.

All this being said, I also want my home to have the feeling of being lived-in and homey, not sterile. My kids are older now which means toys no longer litter the floor, and keeping things picked up is easier than it once was when ninja turtles could have (and should have) paid rent here. I work from home, alone, and the house could easily feel eerily quiet and dark if I didn’t have ways of making it feel inviting. Same for when the dudes come home from school or BP gets home from work: I want our house feel homey. The key to this is a few “signs of life” that show your rooms are used and lived in. My preference is for the rooms to feel welcoming and approachable without also feeling messy or junky. FYI: This really just applies to the shared rooms of our house. Anyone’s bedroom is out of my jurisdiction.

1. house plants and humidifiers

I know not everyone is a house plant person, but they are helpful in bringing some “signs of life” into an empty home, and that is really a key to making a home feel inviting. I talk about having house plants in the article I published called The Eden Factor. It’s a great way to bring nature indoors. House plants also purify the air and bring a casual elegance to your space. Even if the room is dressy, a plant brings a level of approachability. Like, well, there is a plant here sitting in a pot of dirt, so I guess I can relax a bit.

TIP: On this note, I bought a tiny humidifier to sit on my art table where I have a Monstera plant. When new leaves sprout, they are rolled up really tight and humidity helps them loosen and unroll. I’m always amazed at just turning on the humidifier brings a little life into the room. It creates movement, even if the room is empty. The one I have is no longer available, but this little one has good reviews. I also have this larger one for my larger plants. *affiliate links

2. candles and lamps

This one is pretty obvious and something many of you already do. Ambiant lighting always brings a little life and homeyness to a room.

AM Luxe Candles is my favorite candle brand. Not only do they have a tremendous variety of scents and vessels available, but the wax is vegan and clean burning. They are hand-poured right here in McKinney, Texas and are phthalate, paraben, and sulfate-free. AMLuxe Candles use the soft crackle wooden wick which provides such ambiance when wanting your home to feel elegant and lived-in!

TIP: AMLuxe also has wax melts if you prefer to use a wax warmer. My favorite scents are: Viridescent Fig and Woods, Pink in Paris, and Bonfire and Toasted Marshmellow.

3. books—leave them open!

I love using little stacks of books in my decor. Whether skirting wall shelves between decorative book ends, stacked on the coffee table, or left open on a book stand, having books readily available is a nod to a period when this wholesome past time was the center of many homes. No iPads, Kindles, TV, or cell phones. Don’t you love that thought? I do this in my kitchen too with a beautiful cookbook by leaving it open to a seasonal dish on a stand. It gives a nod to the season and shows delicious food even if I’m not currently cooking something. Food = Homey!

TIP: Always browse books at the thrift store if you’re there—typically they are even less expensive than a secondhand book store.

TIP: Place a few of your favorite recent reads (ahem, The France Dance) in your guest room next time someone comes to stay.

4. easily accessible blankets

Throw blankets and afghans give every room a cozy, lived-in feel. Drape some over the chairs in your living room, the foot of the bed, or the edge of a sofa. It softens the lines of the room and makes the space look more inviting. Plus for those of us at the age with…shall we say…fluxuating temperatures…blankets are appreciated. So are fans. 🤪

5. sound

When I think about curating a beautiful life and building a personal culture, my mind immediately goes to favorite movies that were produced so beautifully I want to jump through the screen and into those rooms, ie: Natasha Richardson’s bedroom in The Parent Trap remake, obviously the kitchen and dining room from It’s Complicated, the office Diane Lane makes herself in Under the Tuscan Sun, the gorgeous Italian hotel where Marisa Tomei stays in Only You…and as I think about those places, there is usually a Hans Zimmer masterpiece narrating the space with the music he’s created to help tell the story.

Unfortunately, when I serve dinner at night, Hans isn’t in my kitchen with a string quartet, so I’ve become mindful in filling my home with sounds that tell the story of a well lived-in home in other ways. Spanish Guitar Music radio, Stand by Me radio —both on Pandora—are favorites at my house, or even a sweet show on the TV in the background. Whether music or a familiar tv show or movie, sound brings life into rooms.

TIP: This past weekend I was in the kitchen making dinner for a friend who had breast cancer surgery and turned Gilmore Girls on the TV. That show always has a fall-ish vibe, isn’t something inappropriate in case the boys or their friends walk in (#awkward), and is something I don’t have to follow word for word in case I get distracted with the Lemon Parmesan Risotto.

6.) nests

I already told y’all about my tendency to make little nests for myself in random places in the house. I said it before and I’ll say it again: Nothing makes a home look more lived-in than signs of life. As long as the things you need are contained in a little bowl, basket, or tray, I don’t think it looks junky. It looks collected.

7. simmer pot

I love a simmer pot in the fall, and especially love using this clear pot I bought several years ago. The ingredients look so pretty softly simmering on the stove and the house smells wonderful! Just keep adding water throughout the day if it gets low. (FYI: My youngest loves to use that pot when he makes ramen 😆)

The great things about simmer pots are that you can just kind of make up the recipe depending on what fragrances you like. The one thing I always add, however, is vanilla extract because I think it provides such a good smell. Here are a few of the ingredients I use when making a simmer pot:

• cinnamon stick

• vanilla extract

• sliced apple

• sliced oranges

• sliced lemons

• sliced grapefruit

• cranberries

• rosemary

• cloves

• bay leaves

What do you like to use in your simmer pots? Please leave ideas in the comments so we can all see.

8. leave your cake stand on the counter

I bought my cake stand years ago at an estate sale and to this day, it is one of my favorite things I’ve ever purchased secondhand. It stays on the counter at all times and is the recipient of any baked good that didn’t get consumed immediately, ie: biscuits or cookies. Lots of times I fill it with something store bought like muffins or croissants. Ours actually stays in the butler’s pantry. The boys and their friends always know where to look to find the best treats.

I remember reading Southern Living magazine once and in the Letter from the Editor, he said something along the lines of there’s just something about a filled cake stand on the cover of the magazine. It’s so inviting! I couldn’t agree more. Leaving your cake stand on the kitchen island is the cozy equivalent to a fruit bowl. Try it!

Okay so those are some ideas on how to make your house look lived-in while still remaining elegant. Thoughts? Any additional ideas? Let me know in the comments!