Village Life

Written By Lauren Palmer

Does anyone else crave a life that feels more “village-like?”

In the village of Gordes-de-Provence, France, September 2023

If you’re new around here, I’ll tell you I currently live (and have always lived) in the same town where I was born and raised: McKinney, Texas. Other than a 4-year stint in Fort Worth during college, a 5 month stint in Florence, Italy as an exchange student, and a 1-year stint in Dallas post college, I have woken up most days of my life in this North Texas suburb.

Here is BP and me standing in front of our first home in McKinney. June 2006. Forgive the quality! My MIL found this on an old DVD and took a picture of it.

And here we are in our current home with our dudes. A lot has changed in our lives, and a lot has changed in McKinney.

There is a term here in McKinney if you’ve lived here a while that you’ve likely heard: “Old McKinney”. This term mostly refers to families who have dwelt here for decades, oftentimes generation after generation. My parents moved to McKinney in 1970. Thats fifty-five years, and they aren’t even “Old McKinney” compared to some. I’m talking about surnames that are etched on the tops of buildings on our downtown square; surnames on street signs and city parks and elementary schools.

The reason I bring this up is because there are some of us that live in McKinney that still remember what it was like when McKinney was a small town, and although so much of it has changed—we’ve a population over 200,000 now— many of us cling to the small town feel. We long for the connection of a small village.

I love this picture because it was the first time we had seen my in-laws in months due to Covid. My father-in-law hadn’t had a hair cut in forever. 🤣 We met and had lunch at Rick’s in Downtown McKinney for Mother’s Day, which has become a long-standing tradition. May 2020.

Below are a list of things I do to find and embrace the parts of my community that feel more “village-like.” This is something I fell in love with when I lived in Florence: how everyone frequented a specific butcher or baker (likely for generations) and had real realationships with shop owners. In McKinney, I do this especially on the Downtown Square, but there are little nuggets all over McKinney that allow and deserve this type of connection.

1.) frequent your local farmer’s market

I can’t say this enough, but visiting The McKinney Farmer’s Market is the highlight of my week. It gives me time to be outside, visit with farmers, purchase healthy groceries for my family, support local, support farmers, support small business, and cultivate relationships. Visiting a farmer’s market feeds my soul more than anything else. It’s such a grassroots American thing, but it also provides a little bit of a European sensability.

2.) Find local food vendors (not at the farmer’s market) and make it a point to give them your business.

For me, this means a butcher, a bakery, a coffee shop, a cookie store…Just like at the farmer’s market, I cultivate relationships with these people and I go out of my way to shop with them. All four of the businesses I mentioned in the previous sentence are located in downtown McKinney which is about 15 minutes away from me. A big box grocery store is 5 minutes away from me. But I don’t care. I make the time to go downtown. The employees at my butcher, my bakery, my coffee shop, my cookie store all know my name. Oftentimes they know my order. This is the connection I love and reminds me of a time gone by when towns were small and people cared. In the words of @the_hill_country_bon_vivant, “When did we trade connection for convenience?” It’s not convenient for me to frequent these places, but the connection is worth it.

3.) Go to church

So this one actually makes me giggle a little because our church is actually enormous; there’s nothing that feels small-town or village like. There are literally thousands of people there every Sunday. However, what is more small town than going to church on Sundays? Truly? I think about the gang in Footloose. I think about my grandparents in East Texas. I think about myself as a child in McKinney and we always went to church on Sundays and then went to lunch as a family; either at Eldorado Country Club, Golden Corral, or we cooked hamburgers on the grill at home.

I will say to feel more connected in our church, we joined a small group that we absolutely love. Also, I volunteer whenever I can so I can meet more people and help serve the facility that has brought so much spiritual guidance and support to my family.

4.) Vote in local elections and support local non-profits

Friends, this our life. It is also a right and a privilege and something I am so incredibly grateful to do is to vote for our community’s leaders. I know it’s sometimes confusing to keep all the policies straight and who thinks what and who did what and who’s who…But every candidate will always have a website where you can learn more about them. You can also attend local debates and city council meetings to learn more about your city.

Same with local non-profits. It is so important to support the entities around us that support those in need. We all have needs, but if you are especially blessed like me, I hope you will look into some local non-profits to support. Lord knows we’re not always in the season for giving financially, but we can also give with our time as a volunteer, or even as a prayer warrior for whatever that group is in need of. It is such a blessing to support your community in this way and definitely brings you together with some really incredible people.

With some of my incredible local girlfriends learning all about the Hugs Cafe expansion.

5.) Prioritize your local economy

This goes along with number 1 and number 2, but 99% of the time, if I need something, I do my best to try to find it at a local small business before hopping on Amazon. Below are a few examples of places I often patronize in McKinney.

There are so many more wonderful small businesses in McKinney that deserve our business and also in your community. Small town folks support each other, and if you want your community to thrive as well as feel like a small town, you need to support them.

6.) Frequent local festivals

This really goes without saying, but what is more small town than a Christmas Carnival or 4th of July Parade? Prioritize these things, friends!

7.) Go to your local high school football game

This one is easy for me because my oldest son plays football at his high school, so I’m there anyway. However, if you are craving some small town vibes, especially in Texas, attend a high school football game. The drumline, the halftime show, the school spirit…all of it is indiciative of days gone by. If your town has a homecoming parade, even better! I have distinct memories of attending McKinney High School football games as a child: shelling peanuts with my dad, Dr. Pepper, Astro Pops. Such nostalgia to think about!

At my oldest’s high school, our head coach even does something called “Breakfast Club.” Every week, the entire community is welcome to join him for breakfast at a local spot and he talks about the athletic department and what’s happening. It is such a small-town type of gathering and it’s events like this that unify the community.

8.) Join a ladies’ club

While I was growing up, my mother was always a member of a local ladies club called The Owl Forum, and when I married in 2006 and moved back to McKinney, I became a member. It was an excellent way to connect with other local women, enjoy programs by local businesses, and partake in Christmas parties and end-of summer parties. Lots of towns have local chapters of national clubs, such as: PEO.

9.) Get to know your local historical markers and homes

Having been established in 1848, McKinney, Texas has lots of historical areas such as Chestnut Square and The Heard-Craig House. I love visiting these places to feel a deeper connection to my hometown. I subscribe to their newsletters as well so I can stay in the know about what’s happening there. Perhaps there is a neat event I would like to attend! In Europe, literally every building is old and still being used. Let’s appreciate and support the historic parts of our communities as well.

At a speaking engagement at The Heard-Craig House in Downtown McKinney. June 2019

10.) Don’t forget about your local Chamber of Commerce

From 2014 to 2020, I published a blog and magazine called The Art of Living Beautifully, and within a few years I joined our Chamber of Commerce. This was one of the best ways I connected with my local community. It’s mostly small businesses, trying to get the word out, looking to support other small businesses, and doing what they can to support each other. Chamber of Commerce folks are the best people around!

Speaking at the Chamber of Commerce LINKS meeting back in the day. I believe this photograph was taken by FredShots.

So friends, that’s it. That’s how I maintain village-life in my community of over 200,000. Living in an actual village abroad isn’t logistically possible for me at this point in my life, so I create my own. I do this through building relationships with my local community, even if sometimes it’s inconvenient. I don’t believe convenient is always the best decision in the long run, because in lots of ways, it has destroyed American culture. Let’s rebuild it, shall we?!

How do you stay connected with your local community to maintain those village-like vibes?

Lauren Palmer
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